a full 180

-
HEY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

GOOD THINGS ARE COMING.

fuck being sad. i'm going to gaslight myself into being happy.

my sister got me this dress :) look at how happy i look

Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 6, 2024 at 3:09:00 AM GMT+10

    woahhh did you make this website?? thats so cool - anon from secsoc heheheh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. alahishMay 6, 2024 at 3:11:00 AM GMT+10

      i did not make this website hahah this is just under google's blogger thing :)
      when i finally make a website it'll be cooler xx

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

23&me

-
Image
turned 23 yesterday in a land that isn’t mine, yet might as well be like a second home to me given how much i used to visit when i was younger. my mum, dad, and i walked around the city of Bangkok on my 23rd birthday - them desperately searching for anything they could buy me as a gift, me wanting to go back to the hotel and relax. i don’t have 23 lessons to summarise my 23 years on this planet; i highly doubt i’ve actually properly learned some of the stuff life’s tried so hard to teach me, but i was laying in bed reflecting on my life and where i am now. i was video-calling my partner so we could do the wordle together. i can’t even remember what we were talking about when he perks up to wish me a happy birthday. “baby, it’s your birthday here in Australia! happy birthday, i love you so much.” mind you, there were still 3 hours to go before the clock struck 12 for me, but i’ve never seen someone (outside of my parents) be so excited that it was my birthday, even when it wasn’t act...
Read more

bad romance / catharsis

-
the title has nothing to do with my beautiful boy. him and i are still going strong. fuck you. i am not going to pretend like i have not been deeply emotionally scarred by a situationship i had almost a year ago now. it is not something i try to keep secret at all; i've written about the relationship (or lack thereof) extensively and it is something that affects me even to this day. this person, who i will call POS for the rest of this essay, somewhat knows about the pain that he has caused me, but to this day, i do not think i have gotten an honest apology and an acknowledgement of the pain i have been put through, and that fucks with me a lot. it was a bad romance, and as chatgpt put it, i am mourning the version of myself that wanted so badly to be loved by POS. it never happened, and honestly, i am so glad it didn't. i would've never known better existed if i settled for POS. - my brilliant boy, who i will refer to as LOML for the rest of this essay, left to go back hom...
Read more

what would you do?

-
Image
i feel quite unsettled anytime something even remotely good seems to happen to me. you can then only imagine how fidgety i have felt all day today, given how seemingly perfect it has been. i blame the new haircut. me looking for signs of trouble all day today /\ the man and i call this the captain cook pose the man and i slept rather late last night, because i was watching Acapulco (S4 out now!) and he was playing Stephen's Sausage Rolls (i hate that game because i can't figure it out). we had appointments this morning, starting off with his physio, then my optometrist, and we both decided we would get haircuts together. we woke up absolutely hating the fact that we went to bed at 4 (!!) last night (or this morning, i guess), and almost cancelled every plan we had. we somehow managed to drag ourselves out of the house, feeling groggy without our morning coffee, only last night's Wingboy supporting us. i went to get my eyes checked out, then we went to Specsavers so i could ...
Read more