Trying not to kill myself gets more and more difficult every day. This is a weird thing to say after what has been a pretty nice week, but I guess this is what depression is like. Summary of my week - a horrible long weekend, but went to class the next day and somehow understood things despite not knowing what the fuck I was supposed to be doing. Complimented random people. Random people complimented me. Had some really lovely, small conversations with people I will probably never see ever again. Had an insane conversation with a group of people I was never expecting to have said conversation with. Realised my work friend is just like me. Got tickets to Travis Scott. Got new clothes. Got a very important interview. Had a really good time in general. But on the flip side, I've barely been eating 1 meal a day. I eat small items and call it a day because I have run out of food at home and grocery shopping is a chore. My room's starting to look like a mess again and all I have to d...
I'm restarting writing this because I hated what I came up with originally. This one's for the love of my life. - If you know me, or have ever read a single thing that I've written over the past 2 years, then you would know that I have an extremely chaotic life. I'm constantly rushing to get from one thing to another. I never slow down to take things in, because I don't have the time nor do I think I deserve to pause. I am constantly trying to do more, be better, prove myself, and achieve something. I've done so many things in my life and managed to achieve so much, but all of those are nothing in comparison to what I'm building here with this man. This is what I'm most proud of. Us together is what I'm most proud of. The last time I sat down to write about love, I remember remarking how I was never going to find it even though I hoped I would. I talked about how this feeling keeps eluding me, and how I could write about it for years on end without e...
the title has nothing to do with my beautiful boy. him and i are still going strong. fuck you. i am not going to pretend like i have not been deeply emotionally scarred by a situationship i had almost a year ago now. it is not something i try to keep secret at all; i've written about the relationship (or lack thereof) extensively and it is something that affects me even to this day. this person, who i will call POS for the rest of this essay, somewhat knows about the pain that he has caused me, but to this day, i do not think i have gotten an honest apology and an acknowledgement of the pain i have been put through, and that fucks with me a lot. it was a bad romance, and as chatgpt put it, i am mourning the version of myself that wanted so badly to be loved by POS. it never happened, and honestly, i am so glad it didn't. i would've never known better existed if i settled for POS. - my brilliant boy, who i will refer to as LOML for the rest of this essay, left to go back hom...
woahhh did you make this website?? thats so cool - anon from secsoc heheheh
ReplyDeletei did not make this website hahah this is just under google's blogger thing :)
Deletewhen i finally make a website it'll be cooler xx