Starting a conversation. Maybe.
It is currently 0930 hours, and I just made myself the strongest coffee in the world. While stirring my coffee, I thought about adding poison to it. Twice. I had to actively stop myself from doing that. They weren't just random intrusive thoughts that came into my mind; these were thoughts that I have been consciously and subconsciously thinking about for the last couple of weeks. I never told anyone, but I had a major mental breakdown 5 weeks ago, and I haven't quite recovered from it completely yet. I've been self-harming more often - trying to cut (but I own the bluntest knives on this planet) and punching walls (still recovering from the bruises). Mini breakdowns are a part of my daily routine now. A lot of people don't know this, but I am currently in therapy. I called the psychology clinic at my university while crying and eating KFC, trying to put some food into my body after barely having eaten in days. I have been seeing my therapist for over a month now. I alr