main character syndrome

# I titled this after one of Drake's songs. Obviously. Life has been very weird lately. I can't remember the last time I've been at peace like this. I withdrew socially from everyone, explicitly stating that I was going to be doing that. Went away for what felt like forever but was probably just a couple weeks, realistically. Reconnected with my roots in the meantime, and spent more time with my family. Involved myself even more in Bangladeshi politics and "political" conversations. Lost and found my values. Tried to be honest with myself. Tried to do right by myself by not giving in to temptations. Hit the gym more consistently. Ate at home more often. Slept more. Didn't study as much as I should have, but I pulled through in the end somehow. I do have one more exam to take, and I'm hoping that I'll be okay with that, too. I kind of need to be - a lot is riding on my doing well in that. Skin's been clearing up and glowing. Body's been bodying.

Hasina resigned on the 5th of August. That information leaked way before the official announcement. I found it difficult to believe the rumours, and then the announcement itself. She's been in power for as long as I can remember. The fact that students managed to topple her authoritative regime in 3 weeks - unbelievable. I haven't seen anything of this scale, ever. It still feels like an elaborate scheme. I still refuse to believe that she would give up her seat that quickly, that easily. This woman has been in power for over 15 years. So many have come before us who have tried to oust her, but failed. So many exposés, so many protests, so many uprisings. All of that led to the deaths and disappearances of the people responsible for them, while she carried on. And then you're asking me to believe that a couple students from Dhaka University somehow managed to come together, gather the entire nation and lead them to demand her resignation? Forgive me for being cynical, but t

This has got to be the first time that I've felt a serious external threat to my life and the lives of those so very close to me. The fact that I felt fear like this, to this extent, despite being so incredibly far away from home, is a testament to the fact that I come from a country ruled by an actual dictator. We are in 2024, but it feels like these are scenes straight out of 1971. I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure if I should even continue doing what I am. My life isn't necessarily at risk considering that I live here now, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't shitting myself every second worrying if my father will have to face the consequences of my  actions. That should not be the case. That does not make any sense at all. Ironic too, really, considering that I don't feel like I've done enough, if at all. - This is a situation that is evolving so quickly that it's difficult to get facts straight. It's been incredibly real since this s