main character syndrome

# This was originally titled footprints i found, after the album by David Kushner. The new title is more of an inside joke than me actually regretting something. The last time I wrote something was just 3 weeks ago. Way too fucking much has happened since then. Here are the highlights. Came back to Bangladesh, and chaos ensues. Some weird stalker won't stop texting me weird shit on Instagram; had to deactivate so I could distance myself from that mess. Keep drifting in and out of sleep - I'm guessing my body's been through a lot more stress than I initially assumed so I am spending most of my time playing catch-up. My team and I surprisingly made it to the finals of a competition that we had participated in when term 2 was just starting, which is genuinely so crazy when you deep that we made top 3 across AUS + NZ. 2 days before we find out if we're going to compete globally. We might actually have a real shot at this. I just wish I was in Australia to experience this wi...

// i have an exam in 2 days  less than 15 hours, and i'm flying home in 6 days  4 days. explain to me WHY i am spending this time in front of my computer, writing this out, instead of studying. i think i'm losing my mind. if you can't tell, i actually started writing this a day ago, but abandoned the piece because i got distracted by something. i'm writing again now because i just rewatched some of the stories i uploaded on Instagram today, and realised that i'm actually quite depressed. or at the very least, going through it. i posted them on my private account, and while it was just meant to be a rant about how i hate Sydney, it quickly turned into an even worse series of videos about how i feel. i felt so self-conscious and weird about it that i hid my stories from everyone, because no one would get exactly how i feel, and the weight that i carry around with me everyday. - tell me, have you ever felt like an orphan despite having your entire family around? becaus...

# This was originally titled music is the medicine after the album by BLESSED. // absofuckinglutely obsessed with this album by BLESSED. every song on this is genius, both lyrically and musically. i've never been this glad to have discovered an artist. i dropped a friend yesterday. it was a sudden thing, and perhaps it could have been saved. please treat my description of the situation with hostility, because i do not trust myself to be a reliable narrator and i am convinced that i am painting the situation in a way that makes me look like the victim, when in reality, that might not be the case. this friend and i have been very close for quite a while. i've known them for almost half a year, i think, and we've spent a lot of time together. they know a lot of things about me, more than i should've shared, but i trusted them and didn't think too much about it. i am coming out of a period of time when i was engaging in self-harm, and tried to kill myself, and so i hav...