on being alone (and other things) (act II)
i got off a call with my boyfriend and then tried to cut myself. i don't understand why i hate myself so much. - it appears that i can't stop trying to kill myself no matter how hard i try. my head has been in a bad place recently, and i've been having a few health issues as well. i have been aggressively denying how depressed i am, but there was no point to it -- it managed to catch up with me anyway. my partner left to go stay with his family for a bit yesterday since his mum's leaving on a trip soon. this was planned, but i had an absolute fit over it for multiple reasons. one, i am currently home all by myself (my sister's overseas). i don't do well with being home by myself because i get very paranoid. i also spend my days just sleeping because of my depression. i will do anything but the task at hand. i struggle with executive dysfunction, so my house gets messier by the day and i do jackshit to address it. mine is an ingredients household, so if i don...